Arguing & making up in Chinese 吵架与和好
chǎojià yǔ héhǎo
Argue in Chinese is 吵架 (chǎo jià).
Also searched for as: having a fight in Chinese, argument, making up, apologising, quarrel, make up after a fight.
Every friendship has its fights. Here's how to fix them. 15 essential arguing & making up words in Mandarin Chinese, with pinyin and English. Open it in the app to hear each word, tick off the ones you know and turn them into flashcards.
Every friendship and family has its rows, and Chinese has a rich set of words for both the fight and the repair. 吵架 (chǎo jià) means to argue, 冷战 (lěng zhàn) is the silent treatment, and 和好 (hé hǎo) is what you do once it's over. Phrases like 是我不好 (shì wǒ bù hǎo), "I was in the wrong", often sound warmer and more natural than a formal apology.
| Chinese | Pinyin | English |
|---|---|---|
| 吵架 | chǎo jià | to argue; to have a row |
| 生气 | shēng qì | to be angry |
| 冷战 | lěng zhàn | cold war; silent treatment |
| 误会 | wù huì | misunderstanding; to misunderstand |
| 讲道理 | jiǎng dào li | to be reasonable |
| 你听我解释 | nǐ tīng wǒ jiě shì | let me explain |
| 不是你想的那样 | bù shì nǐ xiǎng de nà yàng | it's not what you think |
| 算了 | suàn le | forget it |
| 道歉 | dào qiàn | to apologise |
| 闹别扭 | nào biè niu | to fall out; to be in a huff with each other |
| 是我不好 | shì wǒ bù hǎo | it's my fault; I was in the wrong |
| 和好 | hé hǎo | to make up |
| 原谅 | yuán liàng | to forgive |
| 哄 | hǒng | to coax; to sweet-talk someone out of a mood |
| 翻旧账 | fān jiù zhàng | to drag up the past |
Usage tips
- 吵架 (chǎo jià) is a separable verb, so "argue with someone" is 跟某人吵架 (gēn mǒu rén chǎo jià), and "had a big row" becomes 吵了一架 (chǎo le yī jià).
- 哄 (hǒng) is something you do after a fight: coaxing someone out of a bad mood with sweet talk, small treats or a joke. Doubling it, 哄哄她 (hǒng hong tā), makes it sound softer and more casual.
- 算了 (suàn le) can be conciliatory ("never mind, let's drop it") or cold ("forget it, I give up"), depending on tone. Said sharply mid-argument, it often makes things worse.
Common mistakes
- Learners say 我道歉你 (wǒ dào qiàn nǐ), but 道歉 doesn't take a direct object. Say 我跟你道歉 (wǒ gēn nǐ dào qiàn) or 我向你道歉 (wǒ xiàng nǐ dào qiàn).
- 生气 (shēng qì) can't take an object directly either, so 我生气你 is wrong. Say 我生你的气 (wǒ shēng nǐ de qì) or 我对你很生气 (wǒ duì nǐ hěn shēng qì).
Mini dialogue
- A你还在生气吗？Nǐ hái zài shēng qì ma?Are you still angry?
- B我不想说话。Wǒ bù xiǎng shuō huà.I don't want to talk.
- A你听我解释，昨天的事真的是个误会。Nǐ tīng wǒ jiě shì, zuó tiān de shì zhēn de shì ge wù huì.Let me explain, yesterday really was a misunderstanding.
- B好吧，你说。Hǎo ba, nǐ shuō.Fine, go on.
- A是我不好，我不应该迟到那么久。我们和好吧？Shì wǒ bù hǎo, wǒ bù yīng gāi chí dào nà me jiǔ. Wǒ men hé hǎo ba?It's my fault, I shouldn't have been so late. Can we make up?
- B算了，原谅你了。Suàn le, yuán liàng nǐ le.Oh, all right, you're forgiven.
Example sentences
- 他们昨晚又吵架了。They had another row last night.
- 好了好了，你别生气了。OK, OK, don't be angry.
- 他们已经冷战三天了。They've been giving each other the silent treatment for three days.
- 别生气，这真的是个误会。Don't be angry, it really is a misunderstanding.
- 我们讲道理好不好？Can we be reasonable about this?
- 你听我解释，好吗？Will you let me explain?
- 真的，不是你想的那样！Honestly, it's not what you think!
- 算了，我不想吵了。Forget it, I don't want to argue.
- 你应该跟她道歉。You should apologise to her.
- 他们俩又闹别扭了。Those two have fallen out again.
- 是我不好，原谅我吧。I was in the wrong, please forgive me.
- 他们终于和好了。They've finally made up.
- 你能原谅我吗？Can you forgive me?
- 快去哄哄她吧。Go and smooth things over with her.
- 别翻旧账了好吗？Can you stop dragging up the past?
Practise speaking
Ready to use these words? The Arguing & making up speaking island has 8 everyday questions about arguing & making up to prepare your own answers to.