Sympathy & condolences in Chinese 慰问
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Please accept my condolences in Chinese is 节哀顺变 (jié āi shùn biàn).
Also searched for as: sorry for your loss in Chinese, condolence message, sympathy, comforting someone, RIP in Chinese.
Gentle words for someone who's lost someone. 15 essential sympathy & condolences words in Mandarin Chinese, with pinyin and English. Open it in the app to hear each word, tick off the ones you know and turn them into flashcards.
Finding the right words when someone is grieving is hard in any language. The standard expression of sympathy in Chinese is 节哀顺变 (jié āi shùn biàn), often shortened to 节哀 (jié āi), roughly "try not to grieve too much". Gentler, everyday phrases matter just as much: 保重 (bǎo zhòng), "take care of yourself", and 有我在 (yǒu wǒ zài), "I'm here for you". Simple, sincere words are better than elaborate ones.
| Chinese | Pinyin | English |
|---|---|---|
| 节哀顺变 | jié āi shùn biàn | my condolences; try not to grieve too much |
| 节哀 | jié āi | please don't grieve too much |
| 去世 | qù shì | to pass away |
| 走了 | zǒu le | to pass away (gentle) |
| 难过 | nán guò | sad |
| 安慰 | ān wèi | to comfort |
| 保重 | bǎo zhòng | take care (of yourself) |
| 想开点 | xiǎng kāi diǎn | try not to dwell on it |
| 有我在 | yǒu wǒ zài | I'm here for you |
| 我很遗憾 | wǒ hěn yí hàn | I'm so sorry (to hear that) |
| 葬礼 | zàng lǐ | funeral |
| 怀念 | huái niàn | to miss (someone gone); to remember fondly |
| 一路走好 | yī lù zǒu hǎo | rest in peace (lit. safe journey) |
| 抱抱 | bào bao | hug; hugs |
| 会好起来的 | huì hǎo qǐ lái de | it'll be OK; things will get better |
Usage tips
- People usually avoid the blunt 死 (sǐ, "die") about someone close. Use 去世 (qù shì) in neutral or formal contexts and 走了 (zǒu le) in gentle conversation.
- 节哀顺变 (jié āi shùn biàn) is fairly formal and mostly said to the bereaved family, at a funeral or in a message. With a close friend, 抱抱 (bào bao) or 有什么需要随时找我 (yǒu shén me xū yào suí shí zhǎo wǒ) can feel warmer.
- At Chinese funerals white and black are the colours of mourning, and money is given in a white envelope, often called 白包 (bái bāo) in Taiwan and Southeast Asia. Avoid red, the colour of celebration.
Common mistakes
- English speakers translate "I'm sorry for your loss" with 对不起 (duì bu qǐ), which sounds as if you caused it. Say 我很遗憾 (wǒ hěn yí hàn) or 节哀 (jié āi) instead.
- 想开点 (xiǎng kāi diǎn), "try not to dwell on it", can sound dismissive straight after a death. In the early days stick to 我很遗憾 (wǒ hěn yí hàn) and 保重 (bǎo zhòng), and save 想开点 for later.
Mini dialogue
- A听说你爷爷去世了，我很遗憾。Tīng shuō nǐ yé ye qù shì le, wǒ hěn yí hàn.I heard your grandpa passed away. I'm so sorry.
- B谢谢。他走得很突然，我还是很难过。Xiè xie. Tā zǒu de hěn tū rán, wǒ hái shì hěn nán guò.Thank you. It was very sudden, and I'm still really sad.
- A节哀。葬礼是什么时候？Jié āi. Zàng lǐ shì shén me shí hou?My condolences. When's the funeral?
- B这周六。Zhè zhōu liù.This Saturday.
- A你一定要保重。有什么事随时找我，有我在。Nǐ yī dìng yào bǎo zhòng. Yǒu shén me shì suí shí zhǎo wǒ, yǒu wǒ zài.Please take care of yourself. Call me any time, I'm here for you.
Example sentences
- 听说你奶奶走了，节哀顺变。I heard your grandma passed away. My condolences.
- 你要节哀，好好休息。Try not to grieve too much, and get some rest.
- 他爷爷上个月去世了。His grandfather passed away last month.
- 我的狗昨天走了。My dog passed away yesterday.
- 我知道你现在很难过。I know you're very sad right now.
- 我不知道怎么安慰她。I don't know how to comfort her.
- 你一定要保重身体。You must look after yourself.
- 别太难过了，想开点。Don't be too sad, try not to dwell on it.
- 有什么事随时找我，有我在。Call me any time you need, I'm here for you.
- 听到这个消息，我很遗憾。I'm so sorry to hear the news.
- 葬礼在周六举行。The funeral is on Saturday.
- 我们都很怀念他。We all miss him very much.
- 姥爷，您一路走好。Rest in peace, Grandpa.
- 抱抱你，别一个人扛着。Hugs. Don't carry it all on your own.
- 一切都会好起来的。Everything will be OK.
Practise speaking
Ready to use these words? The Sympathy & condolences speaking island has 8 everyday questions about sympathy & condolences to prepare your own answers to.